Have you ever had the Mommy “moment” that you just want to take back or pretend that it did not happen?
Ever wanted a “do over?”
I have to admit that I have had more than my share of those moments. The times when my mouth moves faster than my brain. Or my actions move at warp speed while my brain drags out the consequences.
Several days ago I think I hit the pinnacle of “mommy guilt.”
5:50pm – I am almost ready for work. Yes, I am working night shift – which causes me automatically be a little grumpy 🙂 Standing on the balcony, I see Lil Sis rolling around on her Heeleys. It is time to drag the girls inside (kicking and screaming). I glance at Lil Sis again and am about to call her in.
BAM!!! Face first onto the pavement! I wait.
She gets up and starts to walk towards me. Her friend questioning whether she is okay.
She continues toward me, mouthing something that I can”t understand. Still no tears!!
In the door and the tears start flowing. “My arm! My arm hurts really bad. Mommy, this is the worst day of my life.” Hugs, kisses, cuddling. Her guinea pig died today. She is overwhelmed with sadness. Now the hurt. Is it hurt or embarrassment from falling or drama???
I sit her on the couch. A quick nursing assessment. “Can you move this? Can you do that? Does it hurt here? How about here?” Ice pack. Motrin. Prop the arm up. An ace bandage. Instructions to her sisters to take care of her. And off to work I go………
All the way to work, I battle with myself. That pinpoint pain right at the wrist – not good. But she probably just sprained it. I call – every 30 minutes. What is she doing now? Will she move her arm? Tell her to go get ready for bed. Just put her on the phone – “It feels a little better except when I move it.”
A little later, the Man. I think I am going to take her to the ER.
Do you have the insurance card? Tell the doctor this? Tell the doctor? Call me when you get there?
Honey, we will be fine. Don”t worry. She is okay. Breathe.
I get a play-by-play from the ER via text messages. They are at the local children”s hospital. I am at another local hospital. My heart is with them.
Small fractures of both the ulna and the radius. MOMMY GUILT!
1:30am – The Man says She wants to stop by and see you.
Hugs. A smile. I love you, Mommy!
Forgiven! She forgives me.
Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord,how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus *said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21-22
As a child, we forgive so easily. As adults, we hold on to the anger. We wonder if we can forgive one more time. Yet, we know we should. Just as we are forgiven – we have to forgive!!
She asks me to sign her cast. I do!!