What I want to say before she spreads her wings

This week is a much-anticipated week at our home. Big Sis has been counting the days before her first dance. I have been dreading the countdown. I pray – sometimes prayers with  no words. But He knows. When I can’t say the words; all that croaks out is nonsense. Nothing comes out. He understands.

The boy asked. Big Sis pleaded. Conversations occurred that I didn’t want to have. Where did the time go? Just yesterday, she was our little baby. All swaddled in her pink blanket. Sleeping peacefully in the crib. Or maybe she is two years old. Toddling around the house playing big sister to her little sister. Already bossing! I would even be okay if she were getting ready for her first day of school. Big backpack – almost bigger than her. But not her first dance!

She has the dress. She has the new earrings and the shoes. The corsage and bountonniere have been ordered. How do I stop this train the is barreling down the tracks toward me? I just want to stop time – right here, ages 14, 13, and 10. Stop time and stay in the here and now. No more forward movement. Instead of her spreading her wings, I want to tuck her underneath my wings and shield her from this world.

But time keeps moving. So I wonder what I want to say to her. This big adventure in this big world. My desire is to shake my fist at this great big world – “DON”T YOU DARE HURT HER!” And I want to  make sure that the boy hears these words come out of my mouth. Instead, I pray. Not knowing the words that need to be said. But He knows. Jesus knows!

So what do I say as she gets ready to spread her wings. I say,

  • You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14).
  • You are beautiful on the outside, but your inner beauty shines so much brighter. Your worth is not this dress or your beautiful hair or your bright blue eyes…your worth comes only from who you are in Jesus.
  • Remember all the dangers of this world that we have talked about. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:12)
  • If you are uncomfortable in the situation, get out!  Your instinct is probably right.
  • There are mean girls out in this great big world. Do not respond to their taunting; instead “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” (Luke 6:27-28).
  • I love you, little girl. You are my first, and you hold my heart in a way that you don’t understand.

These are the words that she will hear. When I really just want to say “NO! Stop this nonsense!” While she prepares to spread her wings – even if she is just spreading them a little bit, I walk into her room. And I see the signs of childhood. She wants to spread her wings; yet have the security of a child. She is allowed that! Stay the little girl who talks none stop, who loves her “pooh bear,” who still likes to color sometimes, and who still wants to cuddle with Mom and Dad.

About byhisdesign5

Headed to South Africa; following God's lead!
This entry was posted in Help! I have a Teenager and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to What I want to say before she spreads her wings

  1. Pingback: a week of the stomach bug and a dance.... - By His Design 5

  2. Barbie says:

    I remember my oldest’s daughter first dance. It was her junior prom. She went with a bunch of other girlfriends and decided she had had enough and didn’t ask to go to the Senior Ball! She’s married today, to her first only boyfriend! I pray your daughter had a fabulous time.

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